On BML we are regularly engaged with politicians, elected officials and government employees. They earn our respect and our scorn. Many are known to us and some are not so well known. They all have their unique characteristics that make them who they are. As an observer of this world I thought it would be interesting to name them like we do boxers or wrestlers. Some may earn more than one nickname, and that’s just part of the fun, but here we go-In no particular order-

With apologies to Michael Buffer…Let’s get ready to governnnnnnnnnnnnnnn…

Because he was the first, we have to kick this off with current State Representative, former State Senator, former State Representative and former County Commissioner Thad “The Impaler” Altman. To his credit he’s taken the ribbing very well. Some on the rest of the list could learn from that. Some won’t do that no matter what…and that’s OK, too! Oh, and Thad gets another one just for the fun of it!

State Representative Thad “Aren’t Ya Glad I’m Not Brian Hodgers” Altman

After the Kathy Griffin fiasco- President Donald “The Head” Trump

Former Secretary of State Hillary “Weekend at Bernie’s” Clinton

After taking the job as Superintendent of Schools Desmond “Those Are My Babies” Blackburn

School Board Member Andy “I Wish I’d Have Thought of the Babies Line First” Ziegler

After being elected- Sheriff Wayne “Which Way’s the Camera” Ivey

When named Assistant Superintendent of Schools for Media and Government Relations-

Matt ‘Watch Me Spin This One” Reed

Clerk of Courts Scott “I Can Run Every Department in the County” Ellis

Sheriff Wayne “Not if I Already Am” Ivey

School Board Member Tina “Nice to Know Who’s Running Against Me Next Time Because Her Signs Are Still Up” Descovich

Former County Manager Stockton “Former Lady in Waiting- Got Outta There in the Nick of Time” Whitten

School Board Member Andy “I’ll Show Paterakis About Stealing Signs” Ziegler

Perennial Board Candidate Dean “It’s Not Time to Go, It’s Not Time to Go” Paterakis

Former County Commissioner Trudie “I Voted Just the Way Scott Ellis Would Have, Except for When I Was Running for His Job and Had to Pander to the Environmental Left” Infantini

Tax Collector Lisa “I’m the Sweetest Thing on Earth Until You Try to Hide One Penny of Tax Money” Cullen

County Commissioner John “Yes I kicked Down Those Chamber Doors and Those Are My Middle Fingers, Now Vote the Way I Want or Else” Tobia

County Commissioner Rita “What, CRA’s Aren’t Conservative?” Pritchett

Palm Shores Mayor Carol “It’s Mine, It’s All Mine” McCormack

Former County Commissioner Robin “Alpha Dog” Fisher

Former County Commissioner Mary “Off With Their Heads” Bolin-Lewis

Former County Commissioner Chuck “And Now I’m the Mayor of Merritt Island” Nelson

Campaign Advisor Rob “I Don’t Run Negative Campaigns Until I Think I Need to” Feltner

Persistent Candidate Richard “Have You Ever Seen A Grown Man Naked?” Charbonneau

County Commissioner Jim “Sure I’m a Republican Until You Elect Me” Barfield

County Attorney Scott “Ethics, I Know Nothing about Ethics” Knox

Supervisor of Elections Lori “I’m the Supervisor, Not Your Campaign Manager” Scott

County Commissioner Kristine “My Husband Knows Just How Lucky He Was to Marry Up” Isnardi

Palm Bay Assistant City Manager Dave “I Know That’s the Truth” Isnardi

School Board Member Matt “If I Only Had a Brain” Susan

Property Appraiser Dana “This is How This Office Was Actually Supposed to Work” Blickley

or Dana “We Can Run This Place Without Furniture” Blickley

Governor Rick “I Haven’t Learned a Damn Thing in 8 Years” Scott

Florida House Speaker Richard “Watch Me Run These Sessions” Corcoran

State Representative Randy “Let Me Flush Your Toilet” Fine

Former Governor Jeb “I’m Not Interested in the Presidency or Owning the Marlins” Bush

County Commissioner Curt “They Elected me to Do Something” Smith

State Attorney Phil “What, They Want Me to Prove It Wasn’t Stand Your Ground?” Archer

School Board Member John “Take Me to School and I Still Have No Leadership Ability” Craig

And here is our special section devoted to the City of Palm Bay:

After seeking the spotlight over and over and over and being named in the Palm Bay charity scandal and repeatedly coming up with bad ideas to keep himself in the news-

Tres “The Oscar Meyer Weenie Whistle” Holton

Mayor William “Councilman Weeth a Steek” Capote

At the special meeting the mayor could not be bothered to attend- Deputy Mayor Harry “I’m in Charge Here Now” Santiago

City Manager Greg “Lancelot the Secret Chimp” Lynk, or Greg” Keep Messing with Me and I’ll Be the Missing” Lynk

City Attorney Andrew “Captain Incompetent” Lannon

Palm Bay Economic Development Director He Who Shall Not Be “Can’t Smell a Plate of Ethics if It’s Sitting in Front of Him” Named

Councilman Jeff “Who am I and What am I Doing Here” Bailey

Veteran’s Affairs Coordinator Don “Call Me Edward Snowden” Overton

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