On BML we are regularly engaged with politicians, elected officials and government employees. They earn our respect and our scorn. Many are known to us and some are not so well known. They all have their unique characteristics that make them who they are. As an observer of this world I thought it would be interesting to name them like we do boxers or wrestlers. Some may earn more than one nickname, and that’s just part of the fun, but here we go-In no particular order-
With apologies to Michael Buffer…Let’s get ready to governnnnnnnnnnnnnnn…
Because he was the first, we have to kick this off with current State Representative, former State Senator, former State Representative and former County Commissioner Thad “The Impaler” Altman. To his credit he’s taken the ribbing very well. Some on the rest of the list could learn from that. Some won’t do that no matter what…and that’s OK, too! Oh, and Thad gets another one just for the fun of it!
State Representative Thad “Aren’t Ya Glad I’m Not Brian Hodgers” Altman
After the Kathy Griffin fiasco- President Donald “The Head” Trump
Former Secretary of State Hillary “Weekend at Bernie’s” Clinton
After taking the job as Superintendent of Schools Desmond “Those Are My Babies” Blackburn
School Board Member Andy “I Wish I’d Have Thought of the Babies Line First” Ziegler
After being elected- Sheriff Wayne “Which Way’s the Camera” Ivey
When named Assistant Superintendent of Schools for Media and Government Relations-
Matt ‘Watch Me Spin This One” Reed
Clerk of Courts Scott “I Can Run Every Department in the County” Ellis
Sheriff Wayne “Not if I Already Am” Ivey
School Board Member Tina “Nice to Know Who’s Running Against Me Next Time Because Her Signs Are Still Up” Descovich
Former County Manager Stockton “Former Lady in Waiting- Got Outta There in the Nick of Time” Whitten
School Board Member Andy “I’ll Show Paterakis About Stealing Signs” Ziegler
Perennial Board Candidate Dean “It’s Not Time to Go, It’s Not Time to Go” Paterakis
Former County Commissioner Trudie “I Voted Just the Way Scott Ellis Would Have, Except for When I Was Running for His Job and Had to Pander to the Environmental Left” Infantini
Tax Collector Lisa “I’m the Sweetest Thing on Earth Until You Try to Hide One Penny of Tax Money” Cullen
County Commissioner John “Yes I kicked Down Those Chamber Doors and Those Are My Middle Fingers, Now Vote the Way I Want or Else” Tobia
County Commissioner Rita “What, CRA’s Aren’t Conservative?” Pritchett
Palm Shores Mayor Carol “It’s Mine, It’s All Mine” McCormack
Former County Commissioner Robin “Alpha Dog” Fisher
Former County Commissioner Mary “Off With Their Heads” Bolin-Lewis
Former County Commissioner Chuck “And Now I’m the Mayor of Merritt Island” Nelson
Campaign Advisor Rob “I Don’t Run Negative Campaigns Until I Think I Need to” Feltner
Persistent Candidate Richard “Have You Ever Seen A Grown Man Naked?” Charbonneau
County Commissioner Jim “Sure I’m a Republican Until You Elect Me” Barfield
County Attorney Scott “Ethics, I Know Nothing about Ethics” Knox
Supervisor of Elections Lori “I’m the Supervisor, Not Your Campaign Manager” Scott
County Commissioner Kristine “My Husband Knows Just How Lucky He Was to Marry Up” Isnardi
Palm Bay Assistant City Manager Dave “I Know That’s the Truth” Isnardi
School Board Member Matt “If I Only Had a Brain” Susan
Property Appraiser Dana “This is How This Office Was Actually Supposed to Work” Blickley
or Dana “We Can Run This Place Without Furniture” Blickley
Governor Rick “I Haven’t Learned a Damn Thing in 8 Years” Scott
Florida House Speaker Richard “Watch Me Run These Sessions” Corcoran
State Representative Randy “Let Me Flush Your Toilet” Fine
Former Governor Jeb “I’m Not Interested in the Presidency or Owning the Marlins” Bush
County Commissioner Curt “They Elected me to Do Something” Smith
State Attorney Phil “What, They Want Me to Prove It Wasn’t Stand Your Ground?” Archer
School Board Member John “Take Me to School and I Still Have No Leadership Ability” Craig
And here is our special section devoted to the City of Palm Bay:
After seeking the spotlight over and over and over and being named in the Palm Bay charity scandal and repeatedly coming up with bad ideas to keep himself in the news-
Tres “The Oscar Meyer Weenie Whistle” Holton
Mayor William “Councilman Weeth a Steek” Capote
At the special meeting the mayor could not be bothered to attend- Deputy Mayor Harry “I’m in Charge Here Now” Santiago
City Manager Greg “Lancelot the Secret Chimp” Lynk, or Greg” Keep Messing with Me and I’ll Be the Missing” Lynk
City Attorney Andrew “Captain Incompetent” Lannon
Palm Bay Economic Development Director He Who Shall Not Be “Can’t Smell a Plate of Ethics if It’s Sitting in Front of Him” Named
Councilman Jeff “Who am I and What am I Doing Here” Bailey
Veteran’s Affairs Coordinator Don “Call Me Edward Snowden” Overton