Inspired by on goings on the American college campus, I have decided to propose a new business venture. First, the inspiration…at Washington State University, Boise State, Lee University and Southern Illinois came variations of the Tunnel of Oppression. The idea is to allow privileged or non-minority students to learn all about misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, racism and any other number of manufactured maladies by experiencing the world from the victim’s point of view. What a great idea!
If it’s this good for colleges, why is the enterprising entrepreneur not capitalizing on the idea and making a capitalist’s dream of it? It would be unlike so many other theme parks across the nation. Given our proximity to Orlando, we should consider this and think about potential locations…and maybe the EDC and TDC will toss in some funding for the idea!
Welcome to VictimLand! Here you may experience any number of scenarios from any number of victim or privileged perspectives! Let’s explore:
The Plantation Experience- here you may experience the Old South as any number of historical characters: slave master, slave, mammy, plantation owner, invading Union Army soldier, carpet bagger during reconstruction, you name it.
Gay Rape Rodeo- where nobody rides the full 8 seconds…and if they do, they are shunned!
Lesbian Luge- the biggest spectator event at our park and the longest line.
Tranny Curling- unlike the winter Olympic sport, this curling involves no stones or brooms…curling irons…there’s the ticket!
The Glass Ceiling Free Fall- staring Hillary Clinton and her plummeting political aspirations.
The Wheelchair Demolition Derby- starring President George H. W. Bush, our standing champion…so to speak.
From our friends at the Council on American Islamic Relations:
The Sharia Theft Hand Removal and the Family Dishonor Wife Beating- -both limited to experienced riders and those who sign an extensive waiver!
Sheriff David Clark’s WHITE LIVES MATTER EXPERIENCE- where Caucasian criminals may be aggressive toward a black cop who proceeds to beat them mercilessly until they confess to any number of crimes the Sheriff suggests.
The Minimum Wage Job Safari- where unskilled potential employees see jobs paying way more than their skills can draw on the free market!
Self-Identity Roulette- knowing they must identify as some special category, participants with no clue as to how they are oppressed spin the wheel and accept their new identity and it’s victimization!
The Hands Up Don’t Shoot Shooting Range- where you tell a lie and then encourage the country to take shots at cops who are performing their duties protecting people with whom they politically disagree!
The Illegal Alien Wall Climb- sponsored by 84 Lumber during the Super Bowl, this event simulates Mexicans who wish to illegally enter the United States. There is no safety equipment and after crossing the desert, you must climb and cross the wall between Border Patrol rounds watching the wall for your arrival.
The Golden Parachute Executive Jump- where you will be forced from your high paying job because of political considerations and protests of those outside your office who would not work a day in their lives if it involved actual productivity and accountability!
There we have the template…someone run this to the EDC and TDC and see what kind of backing we can get. I’ll be holding my breath at the Dumpster Diving Lunch Pavilion!